What do we allow to arrive into our lives? What do we allow to stay?
I think of Rumi’s “The Guest House” of the emotions and experiences that arrive into our lives that may feel unexpected, out of our control, and difficult to handle. I have been thinking about the ironic process theory, also known as the white bear problem. The more we attempt to avoid a thought or emotion, the more likely it is to flare up.
I think of the depth and breadth of learning that is occurring and needs to continue to occur in the United States as we continue to acknowledge and address the racial injustices that have perpetuated through the country’s history and present. I think of the vast amount of work that needs to be done, the vast amount of change to move us toward more equitable values, beliefs, behaviors, policies, and practices.
I think of the ongoing pandemic, the people practicing physical distancing and the people pushing to find ways of life that feel familiar. I think of the disrupted plans, the uncertain timelines, and the daily counts of cases and deaths with a name and story behind every number. I think about how we may get through this, and if really all we can do right now is work to live in it as best we can for the time it is here.
To be present with the discomfort is to greet ourselves in the complexity of our humanity. As we learn to hold this space for ourselves, we build resilience and self-awareness. And as we learn how to take care of ourselves in this way we become better equipped to face the challenges in our lives.
Through all of this I feel. I feel a lot as I think about all that is going on in my own life, in my family, in the United States, and in the world. I have a tendency to get caught up in my thinking, forgetting to give space to the emotional experiences that arrive.
But giving space is exactly what we need to do. To be present with the discomfort is to greet ourselves in the complexity of our humanity. As we learn to hold this space for ourselves, we build resilience and self-awareness. And as we learn how to take care of ourselves in this way we become better equipped to face the challenges in our lives.
Whether it is being present with hard feelings, finding ways to safely spend time with loved ones, or any other way of taking care of ourselves, we strengthen our physical, mental, and psychological health when we recognize that true, sustainable growth and progress cannot come from running ourselves to the ground and losing ourselves in the process.
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