"We have more time for leisure than fifty years ago. But leisure has never been less relaxing."
This is the opening point of Dr. Ashley Whillans’ 2020 article in Behavioral Scientist entitled: Time Confetti and the Broken Promise of Leisure.
Though it may seem ludicrous as we gawk at our endless lists of to-dos, decades’ worth of time-use data does in fact show that each of us has more leisure time than ever before.
The problem is, our leisure time is inundated with choices and distractions and demands and pressure. Though we may objectively have more free time, we often feel that’s far from the truth.
It’s that feeling about time that I’m most interested in as a researcher and coach. What contributes to the feeling that we don’t have enough time? That we’re always rushing? That there are always more things we should have been able to do in a day…week…year…lifetime?
What is "Time Confetti"?
It’s these feelings about time that shape many of the choices we make about how to spend our time each day. And, I believe, feelings of being rushed and pressed for time perpetuate the feeling that our leisure time is near non-existent, when, again, it probably isn’t.
Brigid Schulte writes about her doubts that she, as a working mother, had anywhere near the amount of free time that researchers told her she had. She certainly isn’t alone. Time research shows that, across the globe, women, and especially working mothers, are some of the most time poor among us. So, if anyone was to prove the data wrong, Schulte figured it would be her.
However, after committing to tracking her time over a year, Schulte discovered that she had more leisure time than she thought was possible. Even with all the demands in her personal and professional roles.
As she outlines in her book, Overwhelmed: How to Work, Love and Play When No One Has the Time, this revelation was shocking. This set in motion a determined investigation into how she actually spent her time, why her feelings and estimates about her time were off the mark, and what she could do to feel less frantic and more fulfilled by her time.
This is not to say we can all make some quick changes and live effortlessly, leisurely lives, but rather, that some small changes to how we think about and spend our time can, over time, help us to feel more engaged and fulfilled.
One thing that Schulte identified that has since become a buzzword in time research is the concept of time confetti.
Time confetti is used to describe all the ways our time becomes fragmented through small tasks and distractions.
For example, think about the time you’ve spent reading this. How many times have you gotten distracted with some other notification, some other task, some other thing that demanded your attention?
Or, maybe you’ve given me your undivided attention. But you can think of times when you sit down to type an email, fill out a form, even watch TV or read a book.
Dr. Whillans describes how quickly an hour of leisure can get ripped into temporal shreds through this unproductive multitasking. And often even when we don’t respond to or engage with the distractions that pop up, they diminish the quality of our time by introducing thoughts of other things we could or should be doing.
These coulds and shoulds make it more difficult to enjoy the present moment and also lend to feeling rushed or pressed for time. See, we’ve circled back to our feelings about time. These feelings make it even harder to stay focused and present and soon the fragmented nature of our time becomes our habitual norm.
What I try to emphasize in my work is that these habits are choices. Yes, choices that are highly influenced by our roles and environments, but choices nonetheless that we have some control over.
Busyness and stress chase each other. If we are able to break that cycle, even just a little, we can start to adjust our feelings of being busy, of being stressed, of never having enough time.
This is not to say we can all make some quick changes and live effortlessly, leisurely lives, but rather, that some small changes to how we think about and spend our time can, over time, help us to feel more engaged and fulfilled.
Quick Tips to Collect Your Time Confetti
- Find an accountability system. Use a time journal to track your time. Maybe try out software that helps you to limit time spent on certain apps. Work with a coach (oh, hey) to reflect on your experiences and game plan the changes you want to make. Tell your partner or friends to check in on your experiences. Building in accountability can anchor you to the task, especially in moments where you’d prefer to drift.
- Get curious about your boundaries. What boundaries do you have with your technology? With your work? How might setting or shifting some boundaries help you protect your time?
- Delete the app. Turn off the notifications. Make note of what distractions pop up frequently and consider how you could minimize their power to interrupt you.
- Give your why some intentional space. Why do you want to change your time habits? What would be possible if your time wasn’t so fragmented? Spend some time getting clear on your intrinsic motivation for making this change. Write it out. Return to it often.
- Practice. Remember these are habitual patterns. It will take some time and conscious effort to not make the choice you are used to making.
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