Has anyone else been feeling a slew of emotions this month? I find myself cycling through moods, riding on bursts of energy, and dragging my way through moments of being completely drained.
I find some days I could speak to family and friends for hours and hours, and other days the last thing I want to do is interact with another human being. Except, these don’t even exist nicely in separate days. Often they intertwine and compete and I’m left unsure exactly what I want and need.
There are moments of focus and concentration, when I blast through thesis analysis and feel so aligned with the work I’m doing. And then, there are days where I question everything.
I'm trying to learn lessons through all this, but I'm also just trying to take care of myself on the very basic day to day level.
Recently, I’ve been sliding into nostalgia for the past, reminiscing over coffee dates with friends, traveling, attending events, meeting new people and experiencing new places, working in close proximity with others. I grasp at these moments, profound and mundane, familiar and foreign, and now so utterly cherish-able.
I’ve also been bouncing into future plans, imagining whens and whats and hows of little dreams that urge me to think beyond the pandemic.
I am grateful for my current home situation, and yet I get excited at thoughts of what’s next. This time with my family is one of the most important things in my life, and yet I deeply miss people who I can’t see right now. I am relaxed and I am restless. I feel I’m doing too much and not enough. I’m trying to learn lessons through all this, but I’m also just trying to take care of myself on the very basic day to day level.
Though I yearn to feel movement and progression toward something, I try to be patient and recognize this pandemic isn't something we can rush through.
This month I have been holding patience, trying to accept and be gentle with whatever arrives within me each day. Though I yearn to feel movement and progression toward something, I try to be patient and recognize this pandemic isn’t something we can rush through.
For all of you, and everything arising for you during this time, I want to acknowledge how easy and difficult, how draining and energizing, how scary and joyful, how certain and uncertain it all may be. Let us all hold some patience for these contradictions. Let us all hold patience for ourselves and our world as we navigate this safely and together.
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